Wow....only 4 days between posts--> already a win in my books
I am feeling pretty pumped tonight for a plethora of reasons (25 cent word of the day)
Here are just a few of them:
1. I had an AMAZING and motivating chat last night with someone who has encouraged me for the last year to face my fears and own my future, and I finally clicked with it
2. I got up and got a work out in this morning, something I have not been motivated to do in MONTHS, and to top it all off, I did NOT stop even when I wanted to.
3. I have dropped 2 pounds in the last 6 days by sticking to my food and the 30 day challenge
4. I have restarted my grateful log, sharing 5 things/day that I am grateful for
It is freeing and energizing to be able to find motivation in the small things again. To wake up early and NOT be tired, to look at the scale and see movement, and not expect huge leaps, to write out every day something that I am blessed to have in my life. All these things truly help me to grow stronger mentally and physically every single day!
I had someone ask me "what was it that got you through your darkest days this time" so while I'm here, I might as well share that "thing" with you too.
Actually, there are a few things (or rather people) who have helped me in the last few months
Jason- My amazing, wonderful, supportive and often sarcastic and teasing husband. Always there, always attentive, and always encouraging me to step up to the challenge There really is not enough words to describe how I feel about this man
Shannon- Wow, I don't even know what to say about this one. She has been an amazing friend, supporter, shoulder to cry and vent on, and most recently, and magician. She helped me to leave a horrible toxic work environment, and find something I love that I did not even know I was searching for!
Angela- AKA Core Magnificence, aka my rock, and the support I have needed that I didn't even know I had asked for. Always lending an ear, and always looking for the next challenge to do with me!
Hayley- My very dear friend who has been there throughout a lot of ups and downs in my life the past few years, and this time was no different. She offered me a job in 2008, and she was there and offering a new challenge I did not even know I needed a few months ago.
Jackie- Well my feelings are mixed on this one. She is this amazing, wonderful, kind, encouraging, and supportive friend. She is always there to listen when I'm stressing, shares with me when I'm happy and excited, and the funniest part, I feel I've known her forever. In actuality though...I've never even met her!!! But man oh man she is a firecracker. The only reason my feelings are "mixed" on her is because I cant decide if shes my soul sister from a different province, or a heaven-sent angel there to offer unbiased guidance when I don't know how to ask for it.
Debbie and Jer- These friends of mine. They encourage and support Jason and I on our journey to a newer healthier happier"us". They offer humour, entertaining updates on their progress (check out the hashtag #GetFitWithJer) and they are always ready and willing to listen when we need a different perspective. Plus Deb lets me spend time with her horse so that's always a win, emotionally and physically haha)
All in all, there are a TON more people who have contributed to where I am now, but these are just the ones who have made the most significant impact in the last few weeks.
So there you have it for tonight
4 things I am excited about, and 6 (well 7 if you count Jer) of the most significant pieces of the puzzle that have pushed me and helped me to stay motivated!
xoxo see you all soon!
Thursday, 19 November 2015
Monday, 16 November 2015
Lack of Energy and Loss of Motivation
Well Hello There
Long time no see.... or perhaps that is what YOU should be saying to ME!
Its been over TWO MONTHS since I last posted and I feel terrible. I was so gung-ho to get going on this blog, to share my challenges and successes, and instead I disappeared, so for that I am sorry!
So lets start over, let me tell you where I have been the last two months.... although I'm not 100% sure you will want to know, so please read on with caution
Lets begin shall we....
In August I was super excited, I was happy, I had a new job and all was going great. Then I hurt my back. Not badly, but bad enough that my running was slowed down significantly (as in I was barely getting out for the runs that I was supposed to be doing)
Finally I started feeling a little better and got moving along again towards that 5 km race I was doing with my amazing friend Angela (Core Magnificence <-- don't forget to check her out) and then slap in the face # 2 happens
Enter September.... working away towards that 5km, doing my early morning runs, feeling motivated and suddenly Im sidelined....WITH THE FLU. I mean really, who gets the flu before the cold even sets in. Not only was it the flu though, it was the first time in over 10 years that I was so laid up that I could not even move from my bed except to the couch, the loo, and the kitchen for tea. Nothing was staying down, and nothing was staying in me.
Lucky for me though, I recovered one day before the 5km. What does this mean exactally... well it means that I had not eaten more than a couple of saltine crackers and some Peanut butter on the day of the race. Thankfully though, the race was at the Toronto Zoo so it helped to keep me distracted once my stomach started reminding me that it required some feeding. It was all fine and good until I looked over at the Rhino standing to the left of the finish line and thought "hmmmmm you look tasty". Needless to say I headed right over to the snack table as soon as we crossed the finish line (in 47 minutes I might add)
Now normally I would be disappointed in 47 minutes, but this time...HELL NO. That was amazing considering I was "running" (aka alternating between walking and running) on next to no food, no strength, and sheer determination to cross the finish line in the hardest 5km I've ever completed. I did NOT know that it was full of hills, and I crested every one of them (even though it was a little slower than I would have originally expected)
Needless to say, I will be attempting another race next year.... I'm just not 100% sure which one I am thinking of.
So that leads me to October (and into November) = Carrie feeling overwhelmed, under-appreciated, and alone.
Now I know that's not the REALISTIC picture of what my life has been like, but it is what it FELT like. I suffer from depression and for the first time in a LONG time, it came back and slapped me in the face hard. I was feeling like nothing I did was resulting in any success, that everything I was trying was failing, and I was worth nothing.
I know in my head that is not true at all, but it was how I was feeling. Then I slowly started to lose all motivation. I started sleeping later, having no energy, and counting down the hours to the weekend. Not because it was the weekend and I could have fun, but because the weekend meant I could stay in bed longer, and have to be "on" for shorter periods of time. Essentially due to money issues, family dramas, and lack of energy, I felt I had zero control in my life and lost all connection to the positivity I was used to sharing with others in my life.
Its now November, and I still feel tired in the mornings, but I'm slowly starting to find that motivation again and my new goal is to push through the negative feelings weighing me down and find myself again.
I'll keep you posted, but for now, here's what you need to know.
1. I'm half way into a 30 day cleanse (and feeling better each day)
2. I and working my way back up to the gym (its been almost 5 months since I was going consistently)
3. I WILL succeed in my goals (which right now are to drop 1.5lbs/week)
BONUS #4- I currently am weighing in at 247lbs and I never want to see that number again!
Long time no see.... or perhaps that is what YOU should be saying to ME!
Its been over TWO MONTHS since I last posted and I feel terrible. I was so gung-ho to get going on this blog, to share my challenges and successes, and instead I disappeared, so for that I am sorry!
So lets start over, let me tell you where I have been the last two months.... although I'm not 100% sure you will want to know, so please read on with caution
Lets begin shall we....
In August I was super excited, I was happy, I had a new job and all was going great. Then I hurt my back. Not badly, but bad enough that my running was slowed down significantly (as in I was barely getting out for the runs that I was supposed to be doing)
Finally I started feeling a little better and got moving along again towards that 5 km race I was doing with my amazing friend Angela (Core Magnificence <-- don't forget to check her out) and then slap in the face # 2 happens
Enter September.... working away towards that 5km, doing my early morning runs, feeling motivated and suddenly Im sidelined....WITH THE FLU. I mean really, who gets the flu before the cold even sets in. Not only was it the flu though, it was the first time in over 10 years that I was so laid up that I could not even move from my bed except to the couch, the loo, and the kitchen for tea. Nothing was staying down, and nothing was staying in me.
Lucky for me though, I recovered one day before the 5km. What does this mean exactally... well it means that I had not eaten more than a couple of saltine crackers and some Peanut butter on the day of the race. Thankfully though, the race was at the Toronto Zoo so it helped to keep me distracted once my stomach started reminding me that it required some feeding. It was all fine and good until I looked over at the Rhino standing to the left of the finish line and thought "hmmmmm you look tasty". Needless to say I headed right over to the snack table as soon as we crossed the finish line (in 47 minutes I might add)
Now normally I would be disappointed in 47 minutes, but this time...HELL NO. That was amazing considering I was "running" (aka alternating between walking and running) on next to no food, no strength, and sheer determination to cross the finish line in the hardest 5km I've ever completed. I did NOT know that it was full of hills, and I crested every one of them (even though it was a little slower than I would have originally expected)
Needless to say, I will be attempting another race next year.... I'm just not 100% sure which one I am thinking of.
So that leads me to October (and into November) = Carrie feeling overwhelmed, under-appreciated, and alone.
Now I know that's not the REALISTIC picture of what my life has been like, but it is what it FELT like. I suffer from depression and for the first time in a LONG time, it came back and slapped me in the face hard. I was feeling like nothing I did was resulting in any success, that everything I was trying was failing, and I was worth nothing.
I know in my head that is not true at all, but it was how I was feeling. Then I slowly started to lose all motivation. I started sleeping later, having no energy, and counting down the hours to the weekend. Not because it was the weekend and I could have fun, but because the weekend meant I could stay in bed longer, and have to be "on" for shorter periods of time. Essentially due to money issues, family dramas, and lack of energy, I felt I had zero control in my life and lost all connection to the positivity I was used to sharing with others in my life.
Its now November, and I still feel tired in the mornings, but I'm slowly starting to find that motivation again and my new goal is to push through the negative feelings weighing me down and find myself again.
I'll keep you posted, but for now, here's what you need to know.
1. I'm half way into a 30 day cleanse (and feeling better each day)
2. I and working my way back up to the gym (its been almost 5 months since I was going consistently)
3. I WILL succeed in my goals (which right now are to drop 1.5lbs/week)
BONUS #4- I currently am weighing in at 247lbs and I never want to see that number again!
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