Apologies, Embarrassment, and Moving past it all

Hello All,

I will keep it focused and "try" for short and sweet for today as I think this approach might work better

Firstly... I AM SO SORRY... I promised that I would be more consistent in my posts, and instead have been even less so than before. That WILL change starting today.

Secondly.... Remember that wedding I talked about the middle of January, well it just happened this past weekend. I wore the dress I had talked about, and even though I was not where I wanted to be goal-wise, I had a LOT of fun.

So there is the apology, but where does the embarrassment come in you ask? Well its more on a personal level than something overtly noticeable to others.

My beautiful friend Tina who was the bride on Saturday, got each of the bridesmaids a beautiful kimono to wear while we were being beautified before the wedding. All the girls wore them, but sadly the size that she had gotten me was too small. I never thought I'd be so sad on such a happy day.I laughed it off,  and told Tina that it was not her fault that my "boobs were too big" but in my mind, I was devastated. I never imagined I would be at a point where a simple Large sized Kimono would not close over me.

What does this mean... well it means that I am tired of being hungry all the time, feeling deprived, craving all the "bad foods", talking myself into feeling awful or guilty when I slip up or make a mistake with my eating.

When out with my friend Shannon two weeks ago, we ran into someone she had previously worked with. Her name was Tracy and she introduced both of us to IIFYM (go look it up  http://www.iifym.com/) with a slight twist on body type. What it essentially means is you're allowed each of the three mains (proteins, carbs, and fats) but the focus is on getting in all your fats and proteins and the carbs make up approximately 25% of your daily intake.

I have been loosely following it over the last couple weeks leading up to the wedding, and am heading into it more hardcore this week. I am actually feeling excited again about it. The low carb I had committed to was moderately successful but as soon as I went "off plan" and had some carbs, I gained back all the weight I had lost

So what does that mean for my personal goals....

Current weight- 255lbs (probably a couple lbs of water retention from all the yummy food and drinks over the last few days)
Food goals:
Calories - 2300 (loosely based)
Fat- 102 grams
Protein- 201 grams
Carbohydrate- 144 grams

I recently completed the #100HappyDays challenge on my instagram feed, and it really motivated me to focus on being present and enjoying life. I feel that I am going to take this attitude with the blog moving forward.

I am going to commit to really focusing on healthy food and logging the daily food intake for 100 days to see the overall result. That way, even when I know I am going to be away or focused on things other than "healthy choices" it will bring me back to what is important.... I'll keep you posted.